Growing up, I was allowed to be creative, but within limits. I couldn't make too much mess, and I was encouraged to not think of being creative as part of my future. I can understand why. Jobs in the creative world seem like a strange anomaly, especially for the working classes. The reality of having to pay bills and get a job for security was a real one and necessary.
Recently I have undertaken the task of the book The Artist Way by Julia Cameron. I thought it was just a bit of fun, as I didn't see myself as creatively blocked, and I'm not really. What I am is pulled down in certain areas, I don't fully allow myself to believe this path is really for me. I don't allow myself to fully enjoy how amazing being creative is, as I compare and despair. And this, obviously goes back to those beliefs ingrained since childhood.
The one thing I don't agree with Julia about, is when she states there is always time, and you will always have enough money- just take the leap, take the risks. For some people, impoverishment is real in so many ways. This 'take the leap' attitude is reserved for those who already have a steady enough foundation to leap from. I have this steady platform now, however, I have worked to pay bills in low waged jobs that took all my time and energy. This is why I trained as an art psychotherapist, I now work less and earn more. The training was back braking, but I made it. Just in time to be middle aged and a little more comfortable. Even though I've been making art a long time, it feels in many ways like my career is just starting. I've only just managed to free up the studio time. I've only just found in the last few years that my sculptural work is becoming something interesting.
The barriers, all kinds of barriers are moving out of the way. The river is starting to flow more freely, and I'm truly starting to believe as Julia says, that "God loves artists". My previous post, the list of wants, I didn't think was going to work, but looking at it now, I have either achieved or started to achieve a good portion of it. Call it cosmic ordering, or simply make a goal and run at it!