a mixed media artist that has had a mixed year. One of extremes in some ways. My health and my moods have not been very good at all. Peri meno has taken over and destabilised me and Im just regaining my footing now. It feels like its only just become popular to talk about, I don't know how women have stayed so quiet about this for so long! Its a truly life changing experience, I'm having to learn to look after myself in new ways, the paradigm has shifted somewhat.
Anyway, other than my exciting HRT tales, I have had some excellent things happen this year, I must admit I haven't quite been myself and have found it hard to fully absorb the experiences. Despite this I remain grateful and full of warmth for those I share my life with, on a personal and professional level.
Earlier this year I became a clinical lead at work, which is fantastic, and I also won an award for my contribution. I have worked hard over the years and it felt special to get some recognition. My passion for helping those who need it the most always rests in the centre of my work and is my grounding and guiding force.
Many special moments have happened this year and as I find my energy levels are lowering, its time I decide what I spend my time on with a more discerning eye. I cant waste my time, as I dont have the will or energy. Next year will be a cull, I will trim the fat. Im keeping it simple and showing up more and giving more to the people and the things that matter. And my art practice is one of those central remaining pillars.
Beginning the year I worked hard in my studio and as the year moved on, it became harder to get the time and space. I'm going to be antisocial and decline a lot next year in a bid to get the work completed that I need. I have a lot of work already but I've had the same few sculptures sitting in waiting for a while now.
Being in the studio is such a joy to me, making my work such an important aspect of who I am. What I'm making at the moment is so process driven and laborious that it is taking some time to make, I will get there soon.
I read somewhere that procrastination was a depressive position. Motivation only comes when pushed to a deadline, fulled by guilt, shame and fear. There is something to unpick here and I can see this is often why doing things we love for a living can ruin the experience. I'm going to aim to motivate myself because I want to do it, and I'm sure this will add more joy into my work.